Saturday, March 10, 2007

this is disgusting but quite funny.

Little Johnny was 7 years old
and like other boys his age rather
curious. He had been hearing quite a
bit about 'making out' from the older
boys, and he wondered what it was and
how it was done. One day he took his
question to his mother, who became
rather flustered. Instead of explaining
things to Johnny, she told him to hide
behind the curtains one night and watch
his older sister and her boyfriend.
This he did. The following morning,
Johnny described EVERYTHING to his
mother. "Sis and her boyfriend sat and
talked for a while, then he turned off
most of the lights. Then he started
kissing and hugging her. I figured 'Sis
must be getting sick, because her face
started looking funny. He must have
thought so too, because he put his hand
inside her blouse to feel her heart,
just the way the doctor would. Except
he's not as smart as the doctor because
he seemed to have trouble finding her
heart. I guess he was getting sick too,
because pretty soon both of them
started
panting and getting all out of breath.
His other hand must have been cold
because he put it under her skirt.
About this time 'Sis got worse and
began
to moan and sigh and squirm around and
slide down toward the end of the couch.
This was when her fever started. I knew
it was a fever, because Sis told him
she
felt really hot. Finally, I found out
what was making them so sick......-a
big
eel ;had gotten inside his pants
somehow. It just jumped out of his
pants
and stood there, about 10 inches long,
honest, anyway he grabbed it in one
hand
to keep it from getting away. When Sis
saw it, she got really scared-her eyes
got big, and her mouth fell open, and
she started calling out to God and
stuff
like that. She said it was the biggest
one she's ever seen; I should tell her
about the ones down at the lake by our
house! Anyway, Sis got brave and tried
to kill the eel by biting its head off.
All of a sudden she grabbed it with
both
hands and held it tight while he took a
muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it
over the eel's head to keep it from
biting again. Sis lay back and spread
her legs so she could get a scissor-
lock
on it and he helped by lying on top of
the eel. The eel put up a hell of a
fight. Sis started groaning and
squealing and her boyfriend almost
upset
the couch. I guess they wanted to kill
the eel by squashing it between them.
After a while they both quit moving and
gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got
up,
and sure enough, they killed the eel. I
knew because it just hung there, limp,
and some of its insides were hanging
out. Sis and her boyfriend were a
little tired from the battle, but they
went back to courting anyway. He
started
hugging and kissing her again. By
golly,
the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight
up and started to fight again. I guess
eels are like cats- they have nine
lives
or something. This time, Sis jumped up
and tried to kill it by sitting on it.
After about a 35 minute struggle, they
finally killed the eel. I knew it was
dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend
peel
its skin off and flush it down the
toilet.

;3:06 pm

Saturday, March 10, 2007

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